Monday, February 28, 2011

Where are you right now ?

A mother and a baby camel were lazing around, and suddenly the baby camel asked....

Baby: Mother, mother, may I ask you some questions?
Mother: Sure! Why son, is there something bothering you?

Baby: Why do camels have humps?
Mother: Well son, we are desert animals, we need the humps to store water and we are known to survive without water.

Baby: Okay, then why are our legs long and our feet rounded?
Mother: Son, obviously they are meant for walking in the desert, You know with these legs I can move around the desert better than anyone does! Said the mother proudly.

Baby: Okay, then why are our eyelashes long? Sometimes it bothers my sight.
Mother: My son, those long thick eyelashes are your protective cover. They help to protect your eyes from the desert sand and wind. Said mother camel with eyes rimming with pride....

Baby: I see. So the hump is to store water when we are in the desert, the legs are for walking through the desert and these eyelashes protect my eyes from the desert...Then what the hell are we doing here in the Zzzoooooo!

MORAL OF THE STORY IS:
"Skills, knowledge, abilities and experiences are only useful if you are at the right place"

(Where are you right now????????)

Tomato Story

YOU Will Know What Is Better When It Comes To Earning Money

Tomato Story

A Jobless man applied for the position of "office boy" at Microsoft.
The HR manager interviewed him then watched him cleaning the floor as a test.

"You are employed" he said. Give me your e-mail address and I'll send you the application to fill in, as well as date when you may start.

The man replied "But I don't have a computer, neither an email".
"I'm sorry", said the HR manager. If you don't have an email, that means you do not exist. And who doesn't exist, cannot have the job."

The man left with no hope at all. He didn't know what to do, with only $10 in his pocket. He then decided to go to the supermarket and buy a 10Kg tomato crate.
He then sold the tomatoes in a door to door round. In less than two hours,
he succeeded to double his capital. He repeated the operation t hr ee times,
and returned home with $60.

The man realized that he can survive by this way, and started to go everyday earlier, and return late. Thus, his money doubled or tripled everyday.

Shortly, he bought a cart, then a truck, and then he had his own fleet of delivery vehicles.

5 years later, the man is one of the biggest food retailers in the US
He started to plan his family's future, and decided to have a life insurance.

He called an insurance broker, and chose a protection plan.
When the conversation was concluded the broker asked him his email.
The man replied,"I don't have an email."
The broker answered curiously, "You don't have an email, and yet have succeeded to build an empire. Can you imagine what you could have been if you had an e mail?!!" The man thought for a while and replied, "Yes, I'd be an office boy at Microsoft!"
Moral of the story
Moral 1

Internet is not the solution to your life.

Moral 2

If you don't have Internet, and work hard, you can be a millionaire.

Moral 3

If you received this message by email,
you are closer to being a office boy/girl,than a millionaire..........

Thursday, January 27, 2011

How Project is Understood

How Project Is Understood

Monday, August 9, 2010

Nice story to share

One truck driver was doing his usual load delivery at a mental hospital, by parking his vehicle beside an open drain.
He discovered a flat tyre when he was about to return from the mental hospital. He jacked up the truck and removed the flat tyre to fix the spare tyre.
When he was about to fix the spare tyre, he accidentally dropped all the 4 bolts in the open drain.
As he cannot fish the bolts in the open drain, he started to panic as to what should be done?
Just then, one patient happened to walk past him and asked the driver as to why he was looking troubled.
The driver thought to himself, since there is nothing much he can do or this mental joker can. Just to keep the bugging away, the truck driver informed the whole episode to the mental patient and gave a helpless look.
The patient just laughed at the truck driver and said “you just cannot even fix such a simple problem? No wonder you are destined to remain a truck driver for life".
The truck driver was astonished to hear such a compliment from a mental guy." Here is what you can do “said the mental guy
"Take one bolt from each of the remaining 3 tyres/wheels and fix it on to this tyre. Then drive down to the nearest workshop and replace the missing ones. Isn’t it simple my friend ".
The truck driver was so impressed with this quick fix answer and asked the patient "how come you are so smart and intelligent and you are here at the mental hospital?"
The patient replied..." hello friend! I stay here because I am crazy but not stupid".
No wonder, there are some people, who behave like the Truck Driver, thinking that others are just stupid. So, guys, though you all are learned and wise, but, just watch out, there could be some CRAZY guys in our professional / personal lives, who could give us lot of quick fixes and brush our wisdom.
The moral of the story is - just do not conclude that you know everything and do not judge people by mere looks/ attire stature or academic background.

Singly ….you exist

Jointly ….we flourish

Saturday, June 26, 2010

This world cup has turned out like World War II!

The Italians went missing,

The French surrendered early,


The Japanese are trying to show their power,


The Americans arrived last minute,


and

The English are left to fight the Germans.!!!

Friday, June 25, 2010

INTERESTING CHAT

Introduction:
Roshan D'Mello (QA Tester)  

Developer (Mukesh Thakur)  

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Roshan D'Mello: Hey Mukesh, there is a bug in your code. Type a text in

username text box and press enter. Beep sound doesn't appear.

Mukesh Thakur: How can that be a bug? There is no requirement that beep

sound should come. Anyway, I will assign it to offshore and get it

fixed.

After 2 days,

Mukesh Thakur: Roshan, bug is fixed. Please verify.

After another 2 days,

Roshan D'Mello:  I have re-opened the bug because sound is not coming in

some PCs. Sound is coming in my machine, but my colleague Rajat Choudhry

is not getting the sound.

After another 2 days,

Mukesh Thakur: Not a bug. I observed that your friend Rajat Choudhry has

Old IBM machine. Unlike your DELL machine, IBM machines do not have inbuilt

speakers. So, to hear the sound in Rajat Choudhry's machine, please use

head phones and then get the bug closed soon.

Another 2 days,

Roshan D'Mello:  I have re-opened the bug because sound tone is

Different across different machines. Sound is coming as 'BEEP' in my machine, but

My colleague Rajat Choudhry who is having IBM machine is getting the sound

as 'TONG'.

Mukesh Thakur: Not a bug. Get lost man. What can we do for the bug? The

Two machines are built in such a way that they produce different sounds. Do

You expect the developers to rebuild the IBM processors to make them

uniform?

Please close it.

Another 2 days,

Roshan D'Mello:  I have re-opened the bug because intensity of beep

Sound produced on 2 different DELL machines is different. My machine produces

Beep sound of intensity 10 decibels whereas my friend's machine produces

Sound worth 20 decibels. Fix your code to make the sound uniform across all

Machines..

Another 2 days later,

Mukesh Thakur:  Once again it is not a bug. I have noticed that the

Volume set is different on the two machines. Ensure that volume is same in both

The machines before I get mad and then close the bug.

Another 2 days,

Roshan D'Mello:  I have re-opened the bug.

Mukesh Thakur:  What ?? Why? What more stupid reasons can be there for

re-opening?

Roshan D'Mello:  Sound intensity is different for machines placed at

different locations (different buildings). So, I have re-opened it.

After 2 days,

Mukesh Thakur: I have made some scientists do an acoustical analysis of

the two buildings you used for testing. They have observed that the

acoustics in the two buildings varies to a large extent. That is why sound intensity

is different across the 2 buildings. So, I beg you to please close the bugs.

After 1 year

Roshan D'Mello:  I am re-opeing the bug. During the year, I requested

The clients to arrange architects to build two buildings with same

Acoustical features, so that I can test it again. Now, when I tested, I found that

intensity of sound still varying. So, I am re-opening the defect.

Mukesh Thakur: GROWLLLL.....I am really mad now. I am sure that the

Sound waves of the two buildings are getting distorted due to some background

noice or something. Now I need to waste time to prove that it is because

of background noise.

Roshan D'Mello:   No need for that. We will put the machines and run

them in vacuum and see.

Mukesh Thakur:  ??

Result
-----------------------
Mukesh is now in mental asylum while Roshan D’Mello has become QA Manager.

Thursday, May 20, 2010

Awesome story....

A Junior Software engineer, a Senior Software engineer and their Project Manager are on their way to a meeting. On their way through a park, they come across a wonder lamp. They rub the lamp and a ghost appears. The ghost says, "Normally, one is granted three wishes but as you are three, I will allow one wish each".

So the eager Junior Software engineer shouted, I want the first wish. I want to be in the Bahamas, on a fast boat and have no worries. "Pfufffff" and he was gone.
Now the Senior Software engineer could not keep quiet and shouted " I want to be in Florida with beautiful girls, plenty of food and cocktails. "Pfufffff" and he was also gone.
The Project Manager calmly said," I want these two idiots back in the office after lunch at 1.30pm"

Moral of the story is:

Always allow the boss to speak first..!