Sunday, December 20, 2009

Living in 2010 .... Ridiculously True

YOU KNOW YOU ARE LIVING IN 2010 when...

1. You accidentally enter your password on the microwave.

2 You haven't played solitaire with real cards in years.

3. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of 3.

4. You e-mail the person who works at the desk next to you.

5. Your reason for not staying in touch with friends and family is that they don't have e-mail addresses.

6. You pull up in your own driveway and use your cell phone to see if anyone is home to help you carry in the groceries.

7. Every commercial on television has a web site at the bottom of the screen.

8. Leaving the house without your cell phone, which you didn't have the first 20 or 30 (or 60) years of your life, is now a cause for panic and you turn around to go and get it.

10. You get up in the morning and go on line before getting your coffee.

11. You start tilting your head sideways to smile. : )

12 You're reading this and nodding and laughing.

13. Even worse, you know exactly to whom you are going to forward this message.

14. You are too busy to notice there was no #9 on this list.

15. You actually scrolled back up to check that there wasn't a #9 on this list

AND NOW YOU ARE LAUGHING at yourself.

Go on, forward this to your friends. You know you want to.

A timeless story ....Side effects of systematic working in BIG CORPORATE

Learn somthing from the story above!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Work priority, with priority of work,
is the ladder to success!!

A timeless story ....Side effects of systematic working in BIG CORPORATE
A story told by an IIM professor regarding the side effects of systematic working :-
After completion of Lanka War Hanumanji was enjoying LTA with his friends, he got an email on his laptop from Accounts requesting him to clear his dues before 31st March related with his tour to bring Sanjivani Booti for Laxmanji. He ignored the first mail.But after 3 - 4 reminders in two days time & receiving a call on CUG Mobile from Accounts Dept., he flew to Ayodhya canceling his leave.
He submitted:-  TA, DA Bill,  Bills of Sushen Vaidya, Hospital Charges for getting injured by Bharatji during his travel at Ayodhya,  Cost of Sanjeevani Booti, Transport charges

(1) Where is your tour sanction report ?  Asked the HR & ADMIN Dept. Hanumanji got it done by requesting to concerned officials 2 or 3 times.
(2) Hanumanji claimed T.A. bill for air travel but he was given only second class sleeper charges & all other expenses on medical , Sanjeevani Booti, Fee of Sushen Vaidya were not reimbursed. When he asked for the reasons,

(a) he was told that he is entitled for IInd class sleeper only.

(b) He can not get claim for other things as he does not have bills.

When Ramji ordered the related official to pay for Air travel & other charges as claimed by Hanumanji. The officer came with the rule book& said to Ramji " These rules are created by the grand father of  Dasharathji, If you want to overrule your forefathers I don't have any problem." Ramji became speechless. Then he thought for another way. He called Hanumanji & gave him the claimed amount in cash, But can Hanumanji take cash money from Ramji ? Hanumanji told " How can I take money from you ? Laxmanji is equally reverend to me as you are. " In  his heart of hearts Hanumanji thought why he listened to accounts fellow, cut short his LTA, completed all the formalities & put Shriram in such an awkward position where he has to offer money to me.
Hanumanji continued his work with the same attachment as he used to after this incidence also, but those who didn't have equal attachment with Shriram & his organization, learnt a different lesson.

MORAL OF THE STORY :

"Not to do anything without proper sanctions FROM HR & ADMIN / ACCOUNTS, bills, gate pass etc. whatsoever may be the
urgency or importance of the job" (AT the most Laxmanji will   die nothing more will happen).

Wednesday for S/W engineer

All of you who have seen the movie ‘A Wednesday’... will love it...

Commissioner Rathore (Anupam Kher): Kaun ho tum??? Kya pehchaan hai tumhaari?

Unknown Caller (Nasiruddin Shah) :  Kaun huun main... Main vo hunn jo
aaj commitment karne se darta hai, Main vo hunn jo aaj ghar jaane se
darta ha, ye soch ke kahin ghar vaale pehchaanne se inqaar na kar
de...

Main vo huun jo, aaj job change karta hai to sochta hai ki kahin
recession mujhe company se na nikaal de..

Main vo huun jiski girlfriend use Friday  ko dus bar phone karti hai,
“Kya kar rahe ho?? Kaam Zyaada hai?? Thak gaye ho??”

Mera haal puuchne ke liye ya kaam puuchne ke liye nahin,  Rathore
saahab... balki vo ye jaan na chaahti hai ki... kahin hamesha ki tarah
end moment pe boss ke bulaane pe main Saturday ki date cancel to nahin
kar raha...

Main vo huun to breakfast ke time pe dinner karta hai, lunch time pe
breakfast karta hai, dinner ke time pe lunch karta hai.. vo bhi time
mil jaaye to...

Main vo huun jo aksar fansta hai.

Kabhi Interviews ke savaal mein fansta hai , kabhi badi companiyon ke
jaal mein fansta hai, kabhi boss  aur client ke bawaal mein fansta
hai.

Project office ki bheed  to dekhi hogi aapne Rathore saahab... Us
bheed mein se ko bhi chehra chuun leejiye.. Main vo huun..

I’m the same old ..STUPID SOFTWARE ENGINEER!!!!

Saturday, November 14, 2009

1 min time pass - nothing to get but good one...

A parrot goes to a shopkeeper and asks ... "Aam hai kya?"
The shopkeeper
says ... "Nahi. Hum Aam nahi bechte."

Next day at the same time, the parrot
goes again and asks him ..."Aam hai kya ?"

He gets a little irritated and
says... "Aare Bola na, Hum Aam nahi Bechte"



On the third day, the parrot
goes again and asks him "Aam hai kya ?"

He gets wild and yells ..."Bola na
naahi. Abhi vapas aaya to hathoda marunga sar ke upar"




The next day,the
parrot comes again and asks him .. "hathoda hai kya ?" The shopkeeper says
... "Nahi" The parrot then asks ... "Aam hai kya ?"

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Cool one

A woman in a hot air balloon realized she was lost. She reduced altitude and spotted a man below. She descended a bit more and shouted,
"Excuse me, Sir, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago but I don't know where I am."

The man below replied, "You're in a hot air balloon hovering approximately 30 feet above the ground. You're between 40 and 41 degrees north latitude and between 59 and 60 degrees west longitude."

"You must be an engineer," said the lady balloonist.

"Yes, I am," replied the man. "But, how did you know?"

"Well," answered the balloonist. "Everything you told me is technically correct, but I've no idea how to make use of your information. The fact is I'm still lost. Frankly, you've not been much help to me. If anything, you've delayed my trip even more.'

The man below responded, "You must be in management."

"Yes, I am," replied the lady balloonist, "but, how did you know?"

"Simple," said the man, "You don't know where you are, or where you're going. You have risen to where you are due to a large quantity of hot air within. You made a promise, which you've no idea how to keep, and you expect people beneath you, to solve your problems."

Saturday, September 12, 2009

Corporate Story...

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Friday, July 17, 2009

5 Cannibals

Five cannibals (Man eaters) get appointed as programmers in an IT company.

During the welcoming ceremony the boss says: "You're all part of our team now. You can earn good money here, and you can go to the company canteen for something to eat. So don't trouble the other employees".

The cannibals promise not to trouble the other employees.

Four weeks later the boss returns and says: "You're all working very hard, and I'm very satisfied with all of you. One of our developers has disappeared however. Do any of you know what happened to her?" The cannibals disown all knowledge of the missing developer. After the boss has left, the leader of the cannibals says to the others: "Which of you idiots ate the developer?"

One of the cannibals raises his hand hesitantly, to which the leader of the cannibals says: "You FOOL! For four weeks we've been eating team leaders, managers, and project managers and no-one has noticed anything, and now YOU ate one developer and it got noticed. So here after please don't eat a person who is working."